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Well the last day I was in the hospital after my son Tyler was born, I had the pleasure of meeting the stupidest person to ever be awarded with a medical license. This woman's name was Michelle, and she was an R.N. that took care of me before I was released. The following is a series of events that happened while I was under her 'care'. (I use the term loosely.)
Michelle the idiot nurse came to my room around 7am when the nurses change shifts. She came in and introduced herself. I was half asleep so I waved hello, and dozed back off. She came in a half an hour later ready to give me some antibiotics. This in itself was not unusual, except that she was going to put it through the IV they took out around 12 am. She asked me :
"Where is your IV?"
I looked at her and smiled, still half asleep.
"Well they took it out last night some time."
"Well how do you get your antibiotics then?"
Well I don't know about you people, but I would hope my NURSE would know HOW to give me my drugs. DEAR GAWD she had the charts. Even I knew what drugs I was taking, so I told her I was taking amoxicillin. She nodded and left the room, I assumed to get my drugs. I dozed off to wake up to Tyler hungry about half an hour later. She had not returned. I called on the nurse call button for her to come to my room. She arrived asking me what she could do, she was polite.
"Well, I was supposed to have my antibiotics around 7am..."
She slapped her forehead and explained it was a busy night on the maternity ward. (I discovered later she only had to care for one other woman who went home because of false labor...) I nodded and she left to get my drugs. Later she came back and had another IV bag. She looked around and asked where my IV was. I blinked and explained I didn't have an IV anymore, they were giving me amoxicillin, by the pill. She nodded then instead of referring to her charts asked me.
"So how much are you taking then?"
I honestly didn't know, so I told her what I did know. I was taking one amoxicillin pill, two darvocets, and one stool softener. She nodded then asked me what milligrams I was taking. I looked at her as if she grew a third eyeball. I said then, tired, and a bit annoyed that the lady who was to be taking care of me in the hospital, when I could barely walk and pee by myself, was incompetent. I took a breath and told myself I was tired. I shrugged and said ...
"I don't know, they put it on my charts didn't they?"
"Yeah but that's outside, (where she would have to go to get the drugs anyway...) and I was just thinking you knew."
She stood there for a minute, as if I were to somehow through osmosis obtain my medical information. She put down the IV thing and started grumbling that she would be back. . . an hour later she returned. I asked if they were the right doses and medicines, because I was honestly worried at that point. That is when she got annoyed with me. Granted if I was her, and that is the only mistake I made I would have been annoyed too... no it was not though. This was just the beginning of something that would last until I walked out of the hospital.
Well to give my son some shots I had to sign a release for the hospital to do so. I am an advocate for immunization. Anyway she enters my room and asks me where the paperwork is. I told her I did not know. I did not receive any paperwork about a Hep. B. shot. She sighed annoyed went over to the folder the hospital provided for me, (with Tyler's birth certificate, photos, and such in it by now) tore through it looking for the paper. Annoyed she turned to me and said quite rudely.
"Well it's GREEN."
Again, somehow through osmosis, and the knowledge that the paper I was to sign was green I was to magically know what she was talking about. I told her again I didn't know, in fact I hadn't seen any green paperwork. I moved to put the things back in the folder, growing very pissed off at this lady. I again admit I had a very short temper at this point, I was tired, and dirty, and she was just rude. I looked at her as she stood there again staring at me and said to her :
"Well can't you get another one?"
I discovered later it is not a form they give to you in the packet, but at the time right before the immunization. She huffed off. Ooookay.
The state of Washington provides a nurse to check in on you at home while you recover. They give you hints about breastfeeding, and how to bathe your baby, and make sure if you have post partum depression, you are dealing with it okay. I was with a woman who was signing me up for the program when Michelle the idiot nurse waltzed back in. I reminded her that I needed my pain killers, and she nodded, and went to take my blood pressure. She looked at the lady, to whom I was giving personal information to and said.
"Don't worry, I will not tell anyone what you are talking about."
That didn't matter, the lady and I stopped talking. The nurse seemed a bit annoyed by the silence and went to take my blood pressure. Well to tell the truth I am not what you would call petite, I am not a whale, but not a size two... and they use a larger cuff on my arm for blood pressure. I was told by the admitting nurse to tell all the nurses this as it would make their job easier. So I explained this to Michelle.
"I think I know what I am doing."
Then as to spite me she put on the smaller cuff. I shrugged and relaxed while she took my reading. She started talking to me, and asking me questions she also wanted answers for. The lady who was running the nurse at home program interrupted and said :
"Ma'am she shouldn't talk when you take her blood pressure, it can skew the results."
Michelle scoffed and saw the reading then... 170+ over 80+... well this would be next to impossible because I lost so much blood in delivery. She told me I had a blood pressure problem. The lady running the nurse at home program sighed and told her to use a bigger cuff, and not to talk to me during it. (She wound up being a nurse herself.) Michelle rolled her eyes and took the reading again, this time the cuff popped off as it was too small for my arm. I looked at her with the best "I told you so" look I could muster. She was flustered at this point. She put on the larger cuff, and got the accurate reading which was around 100 / 60. She took the test 4 more times to make sure the reading was correct. When she left I reminded her of my pain killers... the lady running the nurse at home program looked at me and said.
"EVERYONE in the medical field knows how to take blood pressure. What a moron!"
TO BE CONTINUED (dun dum dum!!!!)
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